so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
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