I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Randomize
