I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Randomize
