Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
They took my balls.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
