It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
