there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
