the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
