This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
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