I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
