Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
