it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Im part way to drunk.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
