Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
