Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
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I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
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The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
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