That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
