Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
