I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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