soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize