We got so high we made milksteak
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
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