No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
then he tried to convert me to islam
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
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