Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
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