Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
