It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
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