I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
