Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
