Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Randomize
