There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
