butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
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