we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
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