I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
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