Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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