Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
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