It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
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