Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
