Where did you get a picture of my penis
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
