dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Is Oprah even human
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
