That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
