After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize