From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I need water and some morals
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
I think i got beer on your cat.
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