my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Randomize