Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
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Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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