i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Randomize
