Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I am one with the molecules
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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