Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I understand Curling. That high.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
