rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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