Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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