I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
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