It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Randomize
