You don't have asthma, your pregnant
At least make sure they are 18
Why
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Randomize
