Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
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