Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I think my vagina is haunted
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
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