he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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