Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Your cock deserves a montage
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
