There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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